A European Vacation for the ages. Represented here by an aperol spritz against a backdrop of the Amalfi coast.

My Instagram Feed Suggests I’ve Made It

by heyimtalkinhere!

Hello from Europe! If you follow me, you will see a flurry of Insta activity showcasing my privileged excursion to several European vacation destinations.

So far, the streets are super cute, but I wish the cobblestones weren’t quite as bumpy. Dragging my suitcase down these jagged streets has been less than ideal, given the number of wardrobe options I had to pack and the number of stairs needed to ascend to my rustic boutique Airbnb. Moving every couple of days does exasperate this challenge, but there are so many places to see and so little time; it’s worth it.  

I apologize to all the locals who had the displeasure of trying to hear me speak your language. My Spanish, French, and Italian are limited. But, like, I can totally understand what you’re saying. I have at least five badges on Duolingo, and I’m great at saying “thank you” in the romance languages.

The Amalfi Coast 

So, the Amalfi Coast was the place to check out this summer, apparently. Maybe it’s always been a thing, and I only just noticed because I’ve recently graduated into a tax bracket that can dip into the sapphire blue waters of the Mediterranean.

The coast is stunning (and only somewhat inaccessible without a yacht). The ferries are actually pretty fantastic. If you buy a mini bottle of prosecco and sit in the back, it’s almost like you have your own boat. And if you swim out far enough, you can tread water away from the beach and pretend that you own that shit. Just make sure to watch out for the jellyfish which have been forced to find a cooler home in the Mediterranean. Global warming is no joke.

The Cyclades

The Cyclades are also an amazing spot to check out if you’re looking to “summer” in Europe. The heat can be a little overwhelming, but most places have a shower hose inside the bathroom to cool you down with a quick spray. And the food makes the heat worth it. Who doesn’t love a Greek salad, yogurt, honey, or spanakopita?

Mykonos

Mykonos is that basic party island that all our favorite influencers love to visit. Lots of clubs and people thinking they are LiLo. Ideally, you’re staying in a hotel within walking distance from the scene. Otherwise, you’ll need to find a scooter or score the contact number for one of the four cabs that exist in the city.

Just don’t get stuck trying to look happy while reading a book alone with beautiful views of Ornos Bay. Reading alone and drinking Aperol Spritzes in a foreign country is very overrated (unless you’re into that).


In summary, the Mediterranean is the tits. There are so many cute corners for casually posed selfies to post on Instagram that could only your very patient best friend could ever take. True, the sunsets are probably about the same as you would expect in New York. But with that European city geotag, there’s really no comparison. Feel free to drop a comment for travel inquiries. You will just need a six-figure salary (or rich friends), a fedora-eque sun hat, and a great book in case you do accidentally catch yourself alone in Mykonos

xoxoxo

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.