Micro-nice, macro-mean

by micro bitch

In my Corona isolation, I have had the misfortune of having a lot of time to reflect upon my recent year-long tenure in Dallas, Texas. Though social distancing wasn’t legally mandated while I was in Dallas, my mental health required it. Regularly hearing things like “wow, you’re funny for a girl” and “do you know what black people do a lot?” forced me into voluntary self-isolation.

Texas is full of people who are incredibly nice to your face (well, at least my face—I’m middle class and white) and insist on the validity of southern hospitality. When meeting a New Yorker, many Dallasites would remark on how mean people were in the city. I can’t dispute this fact. I have been punched in the face, spit on, and held up at gunpoint in New York. However, to quote Carrie Bradshaw (vomit), I couldn’t help but wonder, would I rather be in a world where people are nasty to my face but predominantly vote for equality for all or say hello to me while simultaneously upholding a system to keep the disenfranchised down?

It wasn’t long into my time in Texas that I realized people in the south were simply micro-nice and macro-mean. They are super friendly and eager to help carry your groceries but will happily kill the planet as they tote around in huge SUVs (just a literal block to get something) and vote down recycling laws. I met many “kind, warm-hearted folks” who don’t endorse recycling (a law enforcing recycling mandates was recently struck down in Dallas) and other climate change measures, vote for candidates who don’t support equal rights for women, people of color, and LGBTQ people. Of course, in (most) conversations, being the micro-nice people they are, they wholly agree with equality (just vote against it). 

Some Uber drivers in Dallas are especially interesting (disgusting) and will happily welcome you into their car and give you a full history of the city, but when while passing a predominantly gay neighborhood, begin to discuss the depravity of being anything but straight. I would much rather get punched in the face than drive with any lunatic who has these fucked up ideas about humanity. 

During the Justin Trudeau blackface scandal, I had a lovely uber ride with a man who did not see the problem with blackface or slavery and denied the existence of white privilege. It was a tough conversation to have as the Texan himself was black. He said at the end of the uber ride, I gave him some things to think about. I think this encounter points more towards Texas’ questionable education system and the city’s everyday race rhetoric, highlighting the immense challenges in fixing any of these societal issues. And did I mention Dallas votes blue??? 

Obviously, I’m generalizing about people in the South. To clarify, I am speaking about people who claim to be nice and vote for people (Trump and anyone who supports him) and laws (anything supported by Trump and his followers) that directly harms others. Everyone does better when everyone does better! 

Being micro-nice, macro-mean revolves around the ideology of thinking all is good as long as you treat everyone you know with kindness. Populations you don’t know aren’t readily considered. Micro-nice people do not contemplate how the problems facing people in their lives are caused by larger societal issues. Micro nice: helping your neighbor and friends while supporting a system that directly harms the well-being of the broader community and world. In other words, being macro-mean.

This brings me to Cheer, the Netflix phenomenon about underprivileged students finding hope and support in a cheerleading program at Navarro College in Corsicana, Texas. The show spotlights the poignant leadership of the head coach, Monica. She guides her team through an incredibly rigorous cheer program as well as issues the individual team members face outside of the program. 

The show focuses on a few cheerleaders from the Navarro program. All of which, we come to discover, have suffered from some or all of the following: crippling family issues, physical abuse, poverty, racism, sexual harassment, and suicidal tendencies. The cheer students revere Monica for her cheerleading prowess as well as her ability to offer them advice, support, and stability.

Throughout the series, Coach Monica notes her responsibility as a coach and quasi-mom/guidance counselor to her team. She also comments on her political conservatism in one episode. It is in this same scene that Coach Monica says whatever her church’s beliefs and her own political beliefs, she will always stand by her team, specifically referencing the gay members of her squad. 

This is a prime example of micro-nice, macro-mean. Coach Monica will support her team. But how far does her support go? She will help them day to day, but is she really helping to fix the source of the myriad issues facing her team? Does her political conservatism propel her to vote for leaders who support protecting the rights of the LGBTQ community? Does she go to the ballot box to help a candidate win who pledges to put an end to systemic racial and economic inequalities? Looking at the conservative political options today, I can say with 100% certainty no. 

Coach Monica acts as a mere bandaid for the abuse that this country has bestowed on the underprivileged. I don’t give a flying fuck that Mrs. Monica doesn’t shy away from her gay and disenfranchised students if she is not willing to help reshape the country that is unable to help those in need.

Brief side note: why is it always these fucking southern podunk towns that support football, intense cheerleading, and other modern gladiator sports to help build a sense of community and support for wayward kids??? Maybe if you fucking voted for people who would provide universal healthcare care, free college, and other safety nets for the poor, the need for dangerous sports to give people hope wouldn’t be the last option. Let’s address the cause, people, not cover it up with something equally dangerous to people’s health and well-being. 

Anyway, micro-nice and macro-mean is a fucking real and scary thing. It allows people to delude themselves into believing that they are helping others when they are really only helping the small percentage of people they know by acting like words matter more than actions. I would gladly take someone being mean to my face, but voting to help the world over this micro-nice bullshit any day.