by millennial pink feminist
During this time of isolation, dating, sexual prospects, and potential fanny flutters are DOA. Well, for the most part. There are some lovers who never leave your side. Enter our favorite podcasters (the good, popular ones, not the sad fucking weirdos who bring up their podcasts on dates).
Disclaimer: As a straight, cis woman, most of the below are men. Not to say Alie Ward of Ologies doesn’t get my heart going sometimes.
Enjoy this list of the men and two women who have been keeping me informed, tickled, and amused during my isolation.
Steve Inskeep & David Greene, Up First: I always start my day with these two. Their calm, matter-of-fact voices feeds me the morning news, noting Trump’s most recent deluge of misinformation in the most unshocked, deadpan voices. As most people close to my heart, they would clearly rather chop off a testicle than have the spray-tanned spawn of satan in office another term. When discussing politics, I usually get flustered and start spewing rage, nonsense, and spit. These two keep it so cool and clear. Such a turn-on. Definite boner material.
Michael Barbaro, The Daily: Another sexy news meister. Barbaro takes me on more in-depth news journeys, delving into specific current events. He is a bit more of a personable host (perky, awkward pauses, etc.) than the above journalists, so I feel more connected to him. I could see us grabbing a chill beer and discussing AOC and other spectacular things.
Wesley Morris and Jenna Wortham, Still Processing: I feel being culture writers for the New York Times would automatically make one an erudite douche and a host of esoteric storylines. However, Morris and Wortham seem like anything but. They smoothly break down current trends and media sensations—from J.Lo, finally getting roles that depict her as a strong Latino woman, to attention-seeking whore Joe Exotic and what his story tells us about the sick relationship Americans have with the idea of freedom. They are smart and witty and analyze media trends in the most interesting, socially connected, yet down-to-earth way. Hot hot hot.
PJ Vogt, Reply All: Sorry, Alex Goldman, my heart goes to PJ. PJ’s booming laugh and slight lisp (?) are so dreamy. In each episode, he takes me down a tech journey and makes the most random technical issues unexpectedly titillating. During our Rona isolation, PJ and co-host Alex Goldman have been connecting us to people from around the world to hear their quarantine stories. These stories make me feel comforted and not so alone. Any man that can make me feel not so alone and reassured is a very special gent.
Roman Mars, 99% Invisible: Basically the leader of contemporary podcasting (is that redundant? Whatever.). His soft, melodic voice, examining the design innovations usually invisible to most, is stimulating and soothing all at the same time. Very necessary during this great time of anxiety. All hail and drool, King Roman.
Gemma Collins, The Gemma Collins Podcast: The GC. British reality star sensation. I don’t even know where to begin. She goes on tangents about finding the perfect bagel in LA, and I find it absolutely enthralling. In a recent episode, she asked the vital question, where have all the pigeons gone during Corona? Everything she extols is gold and envelops me in a world of fantasy and calm as she assures me the world is beautiful. Her friends remind her of snails and dolphins are returning to Venice. Love and fire all around.