Who’s Worse: Manic Pixie Dream Girl or Joey Potter?

by cucumber martini

Because I’m 30 and tired all the time, I have been relying on tv for companionship and entertainment during lockdown. While I have a partner (when he’s not on Xbox), I still need some extra love. I get this love from the Real Housewives, servers at Sur, and melodramatic vampires on every fantasy show ever. 

There aren’t many shows I haven’t watched during the pandemic. (And if I’m honest, my relationship with tv began long before COVID.) So I recently decided to turn on Dawson’s Creek, hoping the late 90s/early 2000s classic would make me feel warm and fuzzy and inspire a new wardrobe. 

In high school, I stopped at season 3 because I felt smothered by angst and lengthy monologues. So I began with season 4. The season kicks off with the gang heading to college. Moving away from their beloved Capeside reveals their truly arrested development. Pacey is self-righteously unemployed and not in college. (I used to think he was hot—I now see him as the spiteful manchild he is.) Dawson is still obsessed with movies and naively trying to become a producer. He’s shocked to find out that people in LA are assholes. Jen and Jack are still tight and kind of cute navigating college life together. Then there’s fucking Joey. 

Joey Potter Sucks

Joey Potter and her big doe eyes, crooked smile, and utterly unoriginal love for books and journaling are as grating as ever. In college, she’s in constant hysterics about studying, her “writing,” and her roommate, who, gasp, is hooking up with guys. Joey’s deranged puritanical beliefs render her utterly incapable of understanding collegiate life. She can’t understand why people don’t fall head over heels for her shy smile and embroidered cardigans. She’s still overwhelmed with feelings for Dawson and even writes about her love for him in class. Of course, she’s then dumbfounded when her classmates don’t think she’s the next Louisa May Alcott. 

Joey Potter Slut Shames Women

This is a big reason Joey sucks. Her roommate, played by Busy Philips, is an ordinary, confident, non-bitter woman. She tries to get to know Joey and help her loosen up and party a tad. Instead, Joey is dismissive, rolls her eyes at everything Busy says, and turns down any invitation that Busy extends.

Joey labels Busy a “slut” and clearly views Busy as beneath her. It seems like the only reason for this is that Busy’s character is outgoing and not still pining after a loser guy from high school. Joey is awful to Busy because she’s not an anti-social, Little Women fanatic who pouts, occasionally smirks, and makes Beth March look like the most vibrant person on earth.

Busy continues to be nothing but pleasant to Joey, while Joey continues to put her down. Finally, when Jack and Jen visit Joey, they can convince her that Busy is actually very normal and pretty cool. So they all go to a party. Still incapable of coping with the idea of a party and casual conversations with people her age, Joey rushes to the bathroom and leaves Dawson a really long message while there’s a massive line outside with people yelling to get in.

For the record, I would curb stomp someone if I found out they were in the bathroom, calling some Chaco-wearing-townie who thinks he can make it in Hollywood with his passion alone while people waited outside.

Joey Potter Is Gross

As I’m watching this infuriating bullshit go down, my partner comes into the room and proclaims that while growing up, he thought Joey Potter was “fire.” Gross.

Firstly, I am nothing like Joey Potter. I am not incredibly thin, nauseatingly “principled,” and disgusted by friendly people. I believe women can flirt with guys and still be literate. Secondly, Joey has as much nuance as an LL Bean duffle. She’s a self-proclaimed lover of literature, and her favorite book is Little Women. A children’s book. This does not make Joey brilliant or unique. It makes her an average human who has passed 5th grade.

Joey thinks her love for books makes her fascinating, and each interaction with her fills one with profound reverence and enduring adoration. So when a guy speaks to Joey for two seconds at her first college party, and she departs after one minute, she’s shocked to see the guy coming out of her dorm room the following day after sleeping with Busy. She shakes her head and looks surprised, as if to say, “Wow, our two-minute conversation didn’t merit your undying devotion and love for me. I was right not to trust you. I can only trust my people from Capeside.”

 Progress?

Joey Potter encapsulates the routine 90s female lead, a bookworm with some serious attitude problems. We still see examples of this type of lead today. A beautiful, bookish female, often in flannel with too many family responsibilities, who has no tolerance for the hot jock. For all I know, Joey could eventually befriend her social roomie. She could learn to take phone calls in the appropriate places instead of bathrooms with massive queues. Or could learn what bathrooms are really good for and develop a fun new coke habit. But sadly, I could not get past the first few episodes of this dastardly season to find out.

Today we have some fabulous feminist leads that men can get boners for (reference our article on woke teen shows if you need reminding). But unfortunately, Garden State and 500 Days of Summer spawned the Manic Pixie Dream Girl. Women who think they are unique because they love vinyl, floral, and talking fast. But at least these “quirky” gals know the proper use of the bathroom at a party, made evident by their constant smiles, big eyes, and frenzied monologues. 

In sum, Joey Potter sucks. You should be disturbed if your partner thinks she’s hot. And to be clear, this is not a diss at Katie Holmes, who is beautiful and a fine person. This is an argument against Joey Potter because she’s presented as a beautifully meek, judgemental, virginal, self-righteous dream girl. She’s far, far worse than any Manic Pixie Dream Girl.