Maid: Who Is This Misery Porn For?

by cucumber martini

Other than failing to convince me that a stunning model could be in this position, the show doesn’t do a good job of persuading those who don’t already believe in a strong welfare state that one is necessary, regardless of how overt the effort may be.

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I recently finished binge-watching the Netflix series Maid. For the most part, I enjoyed it. I enjoyed the Pacific Northwest backdrop, the cast, and watching the protagonist grow and take control of her life. I guiltily savored watching a young single mother struggle from my comfortable velvet couch and shearling blanket. The struggle, for me, was not real. And I loved every minute of it (a tad fucked up, but alas).

What It’s About

The show centers on a woman, Alex, who leaves an abusive relationship with her almost three-year-old daughter in tow. Alex has been emotionally dominated and controlled by her partner. When she leaves, she has no money, no job, and eventually no car. She sleeps in a ferry station, a domestic abuse shelter, and a halfway house. She applies for benefits and quickly learns absurd rules and regulations make it nearly impossible to receive federal aid in the U.S. 

Off the bat, the show is clearly pushing a few narratives: 1. The welfare system in the U.S. sucks 2. Being a single mom is hard as fuck 3. Poverty can happen to anyone, even white people (mind-blowing, I know). However, it deals with these issues in a way that left me a bit confused. I wondered what type of person would love/identify with this show and wholeheartedly suggest it to others as a masterpiece. Some portions were good, but overall I felt it was a bit indulgent. To put it plainly, I did not find it to be the most accurate social commentary. 

Maid is, admittedly, chock full of hardships for its protagonist. But it’s not like watching a typical movie about poverty in the United States. Instead, it has a beautiful backdrop with no clear meth heads present and a leading lady who looks like a dewy fairy princess. This setup was my first clue that something with the show was amiss.

Maid advocates for a welfare state while ignoring white privilege and ridiculous beauty. It strives to make Alex “relatable,” showing her to be “normal” because she is intelligent, pleasant, and white while making her seem like a poor minority plagued by ruinous misfortune. This tactic offers an escape to anyone watching from a much more comfortable place in society.

Not Everything In Maid is Terrible

Despite all that I’ve said thus far, I’ll admit that the show did many things well. It shows that abuse doesn’t need to be physical. Alex’s ex-boyfriend, the father of her child, was emotionally and verbally abusive and physically threatening. He had a severe alcohol problem, was not responsible, and constantly fucked shit up for Alex. However, he had his moments. He was hot, charming, and kind at times, great with her mother, and caring towards his daughter. You hate him, but you also root for him. That’s what abusers are like. They’re not all bad all the time. 

The show also makes it very clear that when sex is on the table in a relationship, strings are attached. The “good guy” who “rescues” Alex and her daughter from the ferry station asks Alex to go out with him. She literally has no home, no car, and barely makes enough money to survive. The power balance is seriously out of whack—which she repeatedly points out to him. He persists regardless.

Alex’s ex-boyfriend wants Alex to be in a vulnerable position to help his fucked up self-esteem. The “good guy” does the same in a much more covert, insidious way. Watching this go down on the show, you get the sense that this guy identifies as a good guy. He’s blissfully ignorant that he’s a terrible listener chasing vulnerable women. He claims no strings are attached to their relationship but quickly kicks her out after she sleeps with her ex in a moment of trauma.

This guy fucking sucks. And from what I’ve been seeing on Maid Reddit, women are having no luck explaining this concept to other incels who cannot see how the “good guy” did anything wrong and whine about Alex being a monster. 

Finally, the show bravely does an adequate job of showing that being poor sucks. Alex cannot easily get government aid even though she had to flee an abusive relationship and has a child to look after. She does not have free healthcare or daycare and has to jump through serious hoops to get any subsidies for those substantial expenses. She can barely afford a place to live, and only expensive zip codes have good daycares for her child. 

Back to What’s Terrible…

So it’s not like there are no good things about the show. But, from my perspective, the good ends there, which brings us to my issues with Maid:

Alex, played by Margaret Qualley, is beautiful, thin, an exquisite writer, articulate, and white. IRL Margaret Qualley is not only a successful actress but also a model and dancer. Having worked in various industries in both large and small cities, I feel confident in saying that a beautiful, well-spoken, white woman, who excels at writing, could probably find an entry-level job with benefits, even without a college degree. But for some reason, she can only get a job as a maid at a hole-in-the-wall agency that barely pays minimum wage (or maybe it pays less…I forget…). I know the show is based on a memoir in which a white woman works as a maid, but it is difficult to believe that Margaret-fucking-Qualley could not get a receptionist job in a depressing office somewhere.

Seriously. If this woman showed up at my house to clean, I would try to hook her up with a modeling gig and ask for a 5% commission. This character would likely have some other options. No restaurant gig? No admin office job? Maid is based on a true story, and I don’t know exactly how it goes, but this situation is wild. Maybe the real-life author wasn’t as well-spoken or charming as Margaret Qualley’s portrayal? I did look up photos of the author, and I am sorry, but she is not as stupidly beautiful as Qualley.

What It Could Have Done Better

In addition to failing to convince me that a stunning model could be in this position, the show doesn’t do a good job persuading those who don’t already believe in a strong welfare state that one is necessary, regardless of how overt the effort may be. The show fails to convince people that we need a welfare state for people other than the Margaret Qualleys of America. I don’t think my conservative partner would have any problem giving more tax money to Margaret Qualley. But the truth is you can’t pick and choose who you assist. You have to extend it to everyone, or even Margaret Qualley would be fucked. 

The show continually shows examples of how broken the U.S. welfare system is and how hard it is to get out of poverty. Given this, I would typically say this show would not be for conservatives who would rather chop off their left hand than enlarge the welfare state. But the show portrays a “perfect” victim and allows these same conservatives to believe they’re feeling actual empathy. So while we would like to think this show will help people advocate for a better welfare system, it’s sadly improbable.

Through conversations with some conservative-leaning people I know, I’ve learned they are unrelenting in their anger and fear of lazy people who “abuse the system” (they care little about the countless rich people who abuse it, but I digress). I would much rather afford ten people the ability to manipulate the system than not help one working person to have a better life.

Also, if Maid taught us one thing, it shows how fucking difficult it is to get public benefits. This woman is poor, working full time, has a child, is abused, AND still can’t get financial aid. The “lazy” people that the right fears so much must be working overtime to take advantage of the government. 

I also find the show a bit confusing because the right supports pro-life legislation, yet this woman might not need welfare if it wasn’t for having a child. If she hadn’t had a baby, Alex could have gone to college and might never have been on food stamps. Instead, she’s just another person in the poverty system. I get confused in general over the right’s need to appeal to pro-life religious factions. The right wing hurts the poor by limiting access to abortion, but by stymying access, they create a larger need for welfare, which they claim to be against. So that’s weird. 

Yes, I Know What a Memoir Is

Obviously, this is a memoir, and much of what is portrayed on the show actually happened. I understand this is what I’m critiquing. A white, educated woman who is really good at writing could only get work as a maid in real life. Ok, fine. But how was this story spun in the television adaptation (and even the memoir, I’m old enough to remember the Oprah drama, just saying) to gain traction and broad appeal? 

Final Thoughts

It’s safe to say Maid tried to push liberal ideals while making conservatives comfortable watching it. It deals with welfare. It shows how broken our benefits system is in the U.S. but shows conservative ideals of “pulling yourself up” by your mythical bootstraps and a woman’s role and obligation to have a child. Beautiful white moms will love it, no matter how similar or dissimilar to their lives it is. For white women, it affirms their identity that they are victims and the ones who should be taken care of. It makes their identity work. They want to feel emotional catharsis, to imagine that they and they alone fit the archetype of a victim. 

I think Maid shows the difficulty of navigating relationships under difficult economic and psychological conditions. However, the show’s ability to fully realize the poverty cycle and those most affected falls short. The show maybe should have made a more narrow point about abuse. Stephanie whats-her-face (the author of Maid) can say whatever she wants in her memoir. But the show is not the whole “true story.” It’s a dramatization trying to make a statement about class and welfare, and the protagonist isn’t the right person to make this point.