My partner, while helpful, cannot cut a grapefruit

by cucumber martini

I am pregnant and the past few months have been absolute hell. I have been puking several times a day and anything can trigger a purge. Going down the stairs, getting up too quickly, opening the fridge, my partner’s morning breath…Light makes me queasy and gives me a migraine. I love binging tv shows, but now I can watch two consecutive episodes at most before needing to rest my eyes. Forget about any brightly lit shows (Sex Education, Real Housewives of Atlanta). 

I obviously cannot carry on doing a lot, and my partner has stepped up to dote on me. He still manages to play an obscene amount of War Zone, but can adequately juggle his troglodyte ways and housework. Aside from putting my hair up when I retch, my partner has had to do everything. As such, I am realizing some things about his homemaking capabilities that I have never noticed, or more accurately had never had the opportunity to notice as I was doing these things myself. 

“How do we wash the whites again? What is this Vanish stuff? How do we have so many dirty clothes??” He asks after not having touched the laundry in a fortnight. My partner began the odious task of helping put my clean clothes away. After putting my stuff away a few times, he can now discern a thong from high-waisted underwear, sports bras from underwire bras, and pajamas from athletic wear. He has come leaps and bounds and I am so proud. 

My partner has also come a long way with grocery shopping. He can now go to the store and select things we are out of without me telling him! There are slight mistakes like getting Oatly creme fraîche instead of Oatly cream cheese, and getting completely green bananas (he had no idea they weren’t ripe). I received a frenzied call the other day asking what Trail Mix was. I have learned to make incredibly thorough lists when I need special items, outlining the color of the packaging, the brand, and if applicable, the size and firmness of the food. 

Preparing food is still a bit of a problem area. While my partner is comfortable making a Hello!Fresh meal with all of the directions and ingredients neatly laid out, he cannot fathom making something that solely relies on his intuition. And I am not talking about anything complicated, I’m talking about cutting. I asked for sliced apples and he brought me a plate of little bite-sized chunks as if I were the baby that hasn’t been born yet. I asked him to bring me a grapefruit and he brought me a grapefruit in a bowl with a large knife and a spoon explaining he wasn’t sure how I usually cut it. He can make pasta but has a disturbing tendency to mix pasta types, such as penne with spaghetti. He thinks all pasta is pasta and doesn’t realize how wrong this is. 

My partner has been incredible as I drown in puke and self-pity. Though we still have some hiccups when it comes to cutting fruits and veg, it has been beautiful watching his confidence grow when it comes to heating up food, using Tupperware, and knowing all my favorite brands at the grocery store. I am so proud and can’t wait to see him meet every request of what I can only imagine will be our very demanding child.